For Such a Time as This

Why are you here?

What is your purpose?

Ever asked these questions? I have. And as a 23 year old with no real career plan in sight, I constantly wonder if I may be missing it. When thinking ahead about being in Japan for a year, I used to frequently question if this is really what I should be doing with my life. How am I supposed to know?

The bible mentions several times that we are created specifically by God for something. He knows us and what our lives will be like before we are even thought of by our parents (see Psalm 139:13-16).  Ephesians says that, “…we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10).

In the book of Esther, Mordecai tells Esther in the midst of her doubt and uncertainty, “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).  

As I go off to Japan, one thing that had never crossed my mind—until a blessed friend recently pointed it out to me—was how I am specifically designed and set up to succeed in my new journey. That I have been created for such a time as this. Every step I've taken in life has not been in vain; and every tear, every joy, has built me up to position me to walk into this next step.

My friend began to list a number of ways in which I have been pre-equipped for this adventure:

I grew up in Japan, so I grew to love the culture, learn the language, and understand the people.
I have had to work hard through college, juggling both full time schooling, with working 25+ hours a week.
I have been promoted to a leadership role at Panera Bread, which has helped prepare me to step up to lead our small team going to Japan.
I have spent the last two summers going back to Japan and doing shorter works there, helping me get a feel for what to expect for the next year.
And I have grown up in the care of two amazing parents who have shown me by example what it means to live for Christ.

So now I feel totally capable and competent, right?

NO! At first, the fact that God may have set my life up for a purpose like this is a terrifying thought to me. For it seems to place such great burden onto myself and what I can do. And I know myself. I know I cannot perform as I ought. I am never able to live up to all the expectations of people, let alone God's expectations. I will never be that good.

On my own strength.

But….

It is not I that live but Christ that lives through me (Galations 2:20). And where I fail, His plans still succeed. Where I stumble, He lifts up. Where I cower and hide, He remains strong. Where I run, He chases me and brings me back into His embrace. How beautiful is our God!

Therefore, I step forward. Not because I feel ready. Not because I am confident in my abilities or talents. But because God has led me here, and if He wants me to go to Japan, than I will go, leaning on Him the entire way.

And, who knows? Maybe He has prepared me for such a time as this. In which case, I definitely do not want to miss out on what He might accomplish in Tokyo this next year!

Leaves of Gold

How my heart wanders
Down twisted roads my feet can’t help
But follow, slow
How my mind races
Beyond broken branches and leaves of gold
Stumbling, alone.

When all along the sun
Shining down from above, pierces
yet undetected, I miss its guidance
And wander on, step by step in darkness

How long until I raise my eyes
glimpse the radiant, touch the bright
To bask in sunlight, yet I deny
Straight down, blind, unmoved inside

But Love took my face
Lifted deadened eyes upward anew
Now seeing, true
Radiance perceiving
Fresh air enters into my empty lungs
Life, begun

I believed all along
That life was in me, existing
Yet unlooked for I was shown
Life still waiting to enter into me

The weight, so unbearably great
Now gone, taken away
For it is not I that live today
But Love, supplying my strength

Still I wander
Down twisted roads my feet can’t help
But follow yet alone no more
And my mind still races
But see broken branches with leaves of gold
Finally, home.

Back to Japan (3) !!

Yes. I am going back to Japan again.
And yes, that 3 refers to the number of times I will have gone back--however, it is specifically referring to the number of times I have gone back not just to enjoy Japan, but to give back to Japan.

Yes. Japan is a place I am comfortable with, and it's a place I enjoy. However, it's also a place I want to help change.
Because I grew up there. Because I enjoy it. Because I find it comfortable to be there.
But also because I know the pain that hides behind the peace signs and the smiling faces in the photos. Because I've felt the darkness that can grow unseen there. Because I've seen the loneliness and the isolation, and because I've been on trains stopped by people jumping out in front of it and ending it all.

30,000. That's a statistic; the number of people in Japan last year who ended their lives on their own, before their time was fully up. Suicide. Birthed out of their loneliness, and the weight of the burdens of working and providing for family, and out of the desperation of a person with no reason to live.

1%. That's a statistic. About 1% of all Japanese people identify themselves as Christian. And while the main religions of Buddhism and Shintoism may promote good living and kindness, it cannot produce the supernatural joy that people seek, and that people need.

I went back in 2011 after the earthquake and tsunami, and my eyes were opened to the need for Christ in Japan, and the love I had previously carried for the land spread over to its people. I saw in that trip that, yes, they needed physical help. Or at least, a little bit. But more than that, I saw that they needed joy, and they needed hope. Buddhism can't give you hope, Shintoism can't provide any hope. Because these religions force the people to try harder to be good, and yet still can't guarantee happiness; either later in life, or even after death.
Only Jesus Christ can bring joy and hope for today, for tomorrow, and for eternity. Only Jesus' death cancels out all of our mistakes and failures, and only His life brings us to new life, today, tomorrow, and forever.

So yes, I'm going back. To a place I love, but also to a place that is broken and dying. I don't know what all I'll be able to do, but if I can even help share the good news with 1 person, it will not be a waste and it will bring glory to God. So I will go.

I don't know if or how you'd like to be involved with me in this God-sized task. But whether you ignore me completely, follow me, pray for me, or support me, this is where I am going, and this is why I am going. I hope you will join me on this adventure!

I'm going to be trying to post somewhat regular updates here so if you are interested in keeping up with me please feel free to follow or watch for updates I'll be sharing from this blog via facebook!